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Martyred Matrimony

Supportive woman equals a family backbone.  

How do you learn to support when you've done it alone.

A single woman doing it alone, a mother not referring to the weekend you babysat and I packed a weekend bag because his home is not where you live.

Alone. Referencing the days you drink an extra coffee because you chose to protect your peace... Of mind... Peace in your home.
  
You went from a supporter to defensive protector of your young.

Is it wrong to forgive a disfigured memory of a loss greater than financial decrease or the loss of a lease.  How to support the loss of peace, with a sprinkle of unwarrented distrust. 

Is it wrong to love what the world would call unforgiveable.  "You deserve the pain, and the drought after trying again... And again..."

I hate feeling unconditional love. 

It scares me the way I want to support you.  It ddissapoints me the infinite ways I forgive with an intent to remember but my love makes me want to forget.

I'm mad I'm not sad, that's scary to be happy because you walked through the valley of darkness and withstood the fear of evil. 

I want to conditionally love you and remeber what you do.

How do these women pose next to their man glowing about his accomplishments that has cost you a life of sacrifice and uncertainty.  Should I want to be married, because I do, I wantEd it to be you. 

If I forgave I would be hoping for a fictional past that subdued reality into emotions. 

I know I can forgive without I'm sorry just how to move forward when our Martyred Marriage is a sense of abnormal normalcy.
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