Skip to main content

A Chance to Perfect Imperfection

People can say they sympathize and understand... 


The lowered eyes and weightless shoulders are all physical signs of sympathy and they comfort with the momentum of a conversation.  The sympathy lasts until the final tissue and deep breathe is taken, but then what?


What happens when you wash your face?


Because I wash my face do I deserve any less sympathy from the next? Does the hurt, hurt less? Does that make me stronger, and able to handle more adversity? No! Damnit, No! That's why I am writing this to finally have a chance at imperfection.  PALM.

I went to college, perfect.  I became an honorable mother, perfect. I defied the odds against me, perfect.  I had steadfast faith, perfect. How? you ask ... simple! I WAS NOT PERFECT! And, surprise!.. I will Never be perfect. Is that a surprise to you? Well it is to me! The inner me, of course; where all the facts, and sensibility, meet the wisdom of my faith.  The inner me wanted to be perfect, the inner me kept striving for the perfection of having my mother love me, the perfection of being wanted and loved by a mate, being married and raising children in a home you own.  Is that perfection? What I have learned from this time [which, I had to actively fight for to search inside myself] is that because of the imperfections I truly am in a perfect place to receive so much out of my life than I ever would have thought of before.

I was surprised I would never be perfect.


I had to learn that all this time I was trying to figure out what I did to "allow" so many stains on my perfection to happen. It is actually called growth, and my "stains" are just pillars of internal strength set there to remind me I am  still growing but, I still can celebrate [find happiness in] that I have already grown. PALM (Pause and let that marinate).

Persevere.



For Talent and/or Keynote Booking please visit:
http://www.lisaanncurvymodel.weebly.com or
http://www.laannco.org

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Purge

Imagine 1 night a year where you get to purge all your feelings to the person(s) that have wronged you, no matter title of significance. Some may find it hard to believe but not everyone may have kind words to describe their family experiences. And some may find it even harder to believe that you may not have a relationship with a parent you have been longing for, due to whatever strongholds they're battling, but you still reverence their authority or title as "parent"; "mother"; "father"... Imagine a night to purge the feelings you have held back due to a title of relationship in your life.  I asked a friend this question, their response was "that would be awesome!" but, would it be? What would be your expectation of reaction in an emotional purge? Would you expect someone you told all your hurt too to sympathize, empathize with your hurt and be remorseful for the hurt they have caused? I mean, I would! Why not?! I told [in

Martyred Matrimony

Supportive woman equals a family backbone.   How do you learn to support when you've done it alone. A single woman doing it alone, a mother not referring to the weekend you babysat and I packed a weekend bag because his home is not where you live. Alone. Referencing the days you drink an extra coffee because you chose to protect your peace... Of mind... Peace in your home.    You went from a supporter to defensive protector of your young. Is it wrong to forgive a disfigured memory of a loss greater than financial decrease or the loss of a lease.  How to support the loss of peace, with a sprinkle of unwarrented distrust.  Is it wrong to love what the world would call unforgiveable.  "You deserve the pain, and the drought after trying again... And again..." I hate feeling unconditional love.  It scares me the way I want to support you.  It ddissapoints me the infinite ways I forgive with an intent to remember but my love makes me want to fo

Unintentional Survivor

Are You Overwhelmed? For so long individuals attempt to survive so many past memories and experiences they never wanted to encounter. But you never really forget?  Anxiety, Depression, Abuse, Homelessness, Verbal Assault, Battery, words that are so emotionally weighted by the experiences we had or are still overcoming. Almost everyone reading this can think of a moment in their life that one of those words made you feel normal.  How to Become an Unintentional Survivor... Normal because you too were feeling and experiencing things that fit in those categories of emotional weight, (or maybe I am the only one... and even that is a category of emotional weight). Ok so I survived all of those categories and more! Woo Hoo! Right?! Wrong!...  Now that you survived it, it is time to live through it! ... so many strive for survival after traumatizing experiences but what happens when you finally are living through trauma.  I started feeling again, I could even smell the air (have you ever been