The Purge

Imagine 1 night a year where you get to purge all your feelings to the person(s) that have wronged you, no matter title of significance.

Some may find it hard to believe but not everyone may have kind words to describe their family experiences. And some may find it even harder to believe that you may not have a relationship with a parent you have been longing for, due to whatever strongholds they're battling, but you still reverence their authority or title as "parent"; "mother"; "father"...

Imagine a night to purge the feelings you have held back due to a title of relationship in your life. 

I asked a friend this question, their response was "that would be awesome!" but, would it be? What would be your expectation of reaction in an emotional purge?

Would you expect someone you told all your hurt too to sympathize, empathize with your hurt and be remorseful for the hurt they have caused?

I mean, I would! Why not?! I told [insert name of significant other here] how [he/she] has hurt me, how their care or lack there of has caused everlasting emotional scaring...

I would expect you to at least apologize for me feeling that way, "sorry that I caused you pain...", "I hope for the best in your future despite... "

But what if they don't react the way you longed for, what if you don't get the I'm sorry.

Do you 'purge' for forgiveness or condolences?

A therapist from my church at the time once gave me the best "aha" moment in my emotional journey to self-love.  She expressed to me an opportunity to invite my "trigger person" to a session with me so that I can express my hurts and communicate.  At first, in my mind, I considered it. Then, she followed with "But..."; how many know when a therapist gives you a "but" they are about to cause you to flip your point of view... at least these are my feelings... 

"But, ... be mindful that just because you're ready to talk to your Trigger Person doesn't mean they are ready to listen, or even apologize... Are you prepared for forgiveness without an apology or sympathetic reaction?"...

Recently I felt like the purge of my heart came flowing out in frustration and I communicated. I "popped!" I couldn't continually get looked over and walked on without at least expressing my hurt.

The reaction I had hoped for was far from what I received. The remorse dripped in sarcasm and finger pointing, instead of healing and apologetic undertone. I knew that even with my verbal expression of hurt, nothing but God himself would help my Trigger Person open their mind to see my perspective. 

In fact, I knew the environment of hurt from this person would continue, even after I purged my reasoning for disappointment.

Decide that you need to purge for forgiveness not, condolence.

Forgiveness, is for your peace not for your Trigger Person's satisfaction.

Condolence, you would be waiting on a reaction to your purge, however you don't have control of anyone's actions but your own... PALM (Pause And Let it Marinate).  

Purge for forgiveness. 

When you communicate know your purpose and have a realistic expectation.

I purged but, the reaction was not what was anticipated, but I had to realize that I communicated my hurt with an expectation of being consoled.

But, don't expect the I'm Sorry...

Expect the emotional freedom to have a choice to forgive, or begin the process of forgiveness but, don't expect the I'm sorry...

Forgiveness does not have to be given when remorse is not received, but your peace is necessary to live.

Purge with respect and without emotional submission. Release the hurt without expectation of apology.  Your peace depends on it.  

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