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A Chance to Perfect Imperfection

People can say they sympathize and understand... 


The lowered eyes and weightless shoulders are all physical signs of sympathy and they comfort with the momentum of a conversation.  The sympathy lasts until the final tissue and deep breathe is taken, but then what?


What happens when you wash your face?


Because I wash my face do I deserve any less sympathy from the next? Does the hurt, hurt less? Does that make me stronger, and able to handle more adversity? No! Damnit, No! That's why I am writing this to finally have a chance at imperfection.  PALM.

I went to college, perfect.  I became an honorable mother, perfect. I defied the odds against me, perfect.  I had steadfast faith, perfect. How? you ask ... simple! I WAS NOT PERFECT! And, surprise!.. I will Never be perfect. Is that a surprise to you? Well it is to me! The inner me, of course; where all the facts, and sensibility, meet the wisdom of my faith.  The inner me wanted to be perfect, the inner me kept striving for the perfection of having my mother love me, the perfection of being wanted and loved by a mate, being married and raising children in a home you own.  Is that perfection? What I have learned from this time [which, I had to actively fight for to search inside myself] is that because of the imperfections I truly am in a perfect place to receive so much out of my life than I ever would have thought of before.

I was surprised I would never be perfect.


I had to learn that all this time I was trying to figure out what I did to "allow" so many stains on my perfection to happen. It is actually called growth, and my "stains" are just pillars of internal strength set there to remind me I am  still growing but, I still can celebrate [find happiness in] that I have already grown. PALM (Pause and let that marinate).

Persevere.



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