To the "Hood" I am accomplished; To America I am just another "Hood" girl

Do you ever feel every time you try harder something makes you want to give up even more?...

I have forgiven, taught, mentored, prayed, and self-reflected...I believe it is said (somewhere) that first-step to true self growth/accomplishment is self-reflection. Self-reflection should, in return, lead to self-betterment. Sure! This all sounds so easy, but tell me world what happens when your doing things better, living life the most "moral (based on christian views)" way you know how, but yet, you still struggle.

Struggle, like how do I forgive a past that upsets my journey often? How do I pay a bill with lack of cash flow? How do I improve a college credit score, with a teacher salary...no step? How do I provide for a child, when I struggle to pay rent? How do motivate students when with a Master's I go home and hope the light's are on? This is not a blog of anger, or malice. I am just trying let out the questions I struggle with.. Hello world, "Am I Insane?"

Is it wrong for me to distrust, when I leave "Babby Daddy's Gone Wild" for a life of joy and self-growth, or, a mother who refuses to support a daughter crying out for love because she became "another" single (black) mother, or, am I just insane for constantly standing up and pressing forward.

How far can you press without the credit score? How far can you press without a good husband? How far can you press without the income to bless others?... Or even the income to pay after-school care, so you can, at least, not have to call off of work... or worry about gas to get to work?... or food for dinner? But, I digress. My question world, "Am I Insane" because I continue to stand and strive, even when I cry? Am I insane or normal? Because there are more single-mothers, that are college educated, working, but still struggling, and yet you continue to smile, and look at life with spiritual eyes, and lead by example... but inside you need to be carried? Am I Insane?

Are "we" Insane? because despite being from the hood you still went to college, you still found a career...but, you still want more? I want to lead! ...

But, seriously who am I kidding before I can "lead," I need to be able to pay my bills... and the sad part is, with a career, I still struggle with that!... Am I Insane?

For talent and keynote booking visit:
www.lisaanncurvymodel.weebly.com
or
www.laannco.org

Comments

Collision of Your Presence

Absence Makes the Heart Grow Colder... shading the pain to feel the warmth is what takes strength. The foundation of building a relationship is presence and consistency. Absenteeism of structure, love, trust, & dependency creates a heart of cold thoughts struggling to connect to the soul foundation of being able to love and accept love. Absence of safety in a child creates a distrust for growth, I don't see it making the heart fonder, but maybe the soul stronger... Does a child want to be strong or comforted? We celebrate strength but too much strength in the absence of the soul's necessities creates frigid conditions for the warmth of love. Absence of parenthood in a young adult, absence of support and mentorship, absence of relationship building will scare the heart and make the individual less fonder of finding trust. Happiness will mean fear, and relationship building will crumble. Absence makes the heart grow fonder of dis...

Anchored Heart

An Anchored Heart will make you love even when you can't love yourself. An Anchored Heart will make you not love yourself because you love. An Anchored Heart will not let you believe you can be loved and allow you to love the unlovable even when it jeopardizes your life. Love when you can't love yourself. As a mother of two, a single mother, with active fathers for my children, one more than the other, but single woman with two kids. There were plenty of times that I felt like Lord, I can't today ... Am I Insane? Some who do not understand would ask "you can't what today?..." But, others who Love when you can't love yourself know that when there is an entire other life span depending on you to keep it together, set an example of self worth, set an example of goal setting, and set an example of faith sometimes you feel like you have fallen short. You fall short because in that moment it is hard to love yourself through the trials of ...

The Walking Dead

Spiritual death supplies empty substance used to power empty actions that fulfill an unwanted life. You can hurt someone so bad that your words literally have no meaning, and your promises are cold empty monochromatic symbols. Looking through rose colored glasses with a monochromatic soul clouds visions of hope. The world sees a smile while I swallow sorrowful cries to survive. Are you walking to be alive? Have a life? Or just survive? Walking Dead to Live. The world sees it as responsiblity because you live without thriving. Goals slowly dying hiding behind smiles and grinding. Is grinding a goal? Walking through life with dead dreams. Resuscitate a heart that's been abused get it ready to be used. Revive your sipirt to thrive not survive. PALM.  (pause and let that marinate). Walking dead through the pain. Setting goals I will obtain. Walking dead through the lies. Tranparently changing lives. Walki...

Am I Insane?

Search This Blog