To the "Hood" I am accomplished; To America I am just another "Hood" girl

Do you ever feel every time you try harder something makes you want to give up even more?...

I have forgiven, taught, mentored, prayed, and self-reflected...I believe it is said (somewhere) that first-step to true self growth/accomplishment is self-reflection. Self-reflection should, in return, lead to self-betterment. Sure! This all sounds so easy, but tell me world what happens when your doing things better, living life the most "moral (based on christian views)" way you know how, but yet, you still struggle.

Struggle, like how do I forgive a past that upsets my journey often? How do I pay a bill with lack of cash flow? How do I improve a college credit score, with a teacher salary...no step? How do I provide for a child, when I struggle to pay rent? How do motivate students when with a Master's I go home and hope the light's are on? This is not a blog of anger, or malice. I am just trying let out the questions I struggle with.. Hello world, "Am I Insane?"

Is it wrong for me to distrust, when I leave "Babby Daddy's Gone Wild" for a life of joy and self-growth, or, a mother who refuses to support a daughter crying out for love because she became "another" single (black) mother, or, am I just insane for constantly standing up and pressing forward.

How far can you press without the credit score? How far can you press without a good husband? How far can you press without the income to bless others?... Or even the income to pay after-school care, so you can, at least, not have to call off of work... or worry about gas to get to work?... or food for dinner? But, I digress. My question world, "Am I Insane" because I continue to stand and strive, even when I cry? Am I insane or normal? Because there are more single-mothers, that are college educated, working, but still struggling, and yet you continue to smile, and look at life with spiritual eyes, and lead by example... but inside you need to be carried? Am I Insane?

Are "we" Insane? because despite being from the hood you still went to college, you still found a career...but, you still want more? I want to lead! ...

But, seriously who am I kidding before I can "lead," I need to be able to pay my bills... and the sad part is, with a career, I still struggle with that!... Am I Insane?

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Comments

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Am I Insane?

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